AFTER Beelzebub had listened to the contents of the Leitoochanbros and had put it by the side of the “Sinooa” near him, that is something similar to our etagere, he again deeply sighed and continued to speak as follows:
“It would be only half a calamity for our common Megalocosmos, if the abnormalities of the ordinary existence of the three-brained beings of this planet of yours had all kinds of bad consequences only for them themselves, that is, for the three-brained beings, which they are, and also for the possibilities of completely perfecting themselves with those higher being-bodies which have already had the extreme misfortune to arise within them or which will arise within them in the future.
“But now the whole terror lies in this, that their abnormal existence already begins to have a repercussion and a harmful influence on the normal existence of the three-brained beings who breed on quite different planets, though, it is true, belonging to the same solar system, and also have a harmful influence on the possibilities of the normal self-perfecting of their higher being-parts coated in their common presences.
“I happened to learn about this distressing fact of common-cosmic character only just before my departure forever from that solar system Ors.
“The most interesting information for you, of all the events which have given cause for a clear constating and completed crystallizing in my common presence of the ‘imperishable’ being-data for the indubitable conviction of precisely such a common-cosmic distressing fact, might be the information that in this I was greatly helped by none other than the result, or as your favorites would say the son, of my essence-friend Gornahoor Harharkh, the young conscious individual Gornahoor Rakhoorkh, who also, like his producer, devoted the whole of his existence to the study of all the details of the properties of the cosmic Omnipresent-Okidanokh and also, little by little, became worthy of being considered one of the what are called ‘higher-degree’ common-cosmic learned three-brained beings.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1146]
“Do you know, my boy? In consequence of the fact that all the events and conversations which served as the cause of the gradual elucidation and crystallization in me of the data for the indubitable conviction of such a common-cosmic distressing fact are in general very interesting, and might be for you very instructive, and, as only the reflections of the sphere of our dear Karatas are meanwhile visible, I will tell you also about this in somewhat greater detail.
In order to give you a fuller representation about why in my Being the data has been crystallized for the constating and thorough cognizing of this, I shall tell you, in its order, about what proceeded and shall begin from the moment, when, while still on this planet of yours, I first heard about my full pardon.
“As soon as I heard about this special most glorious act of grace toward me, I, of course, decided at that very moment to return at the first opportunity to the dear essence-place of my arising.
“And for this it was necessary for me first of all to ascend to the planet Mars in order thoroughly to prepare for such a long journey.
“Several days after having left your planet forever, I, as always, returned on our same Occasion to the planet Mars.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1147]
“Arriving there on the planet Mars we soon received a command from Above that I and all other beings of our tribe who wished to return to the place of their arising should assemble on the planet Saturn, using the ship Occasion, on which planet that large intersystem ship Omnipresent would land which would bring us all to our destination.
“I nevertheless had to exist on the planet Mars for a certain time in order to liquidate all my personal affairs there, and to give various orders concerning the beings of our tribe. And it was just at this time that I was told that the ‘Toof-Nef-Tef’ there very much wished to see me.
“Toof-Nef-Tef on the planet Mars is the name given to the being who is the head of all the three-brained beings breeding on this planet and he is like that being who in the same position on your planet is called ‘king.’
“I knew this Toof-Nef-Tef or king in his youth when he was only a ‘Plef-Perf-Noof,’ and a Plef-Perf-Noof is almost the same as our Zirlikners or, on your planet Earth, ‘physicians.’
“Apropos, I must also tell you that on almost all the planets of our Great Universe and likewise on the other planets of this solar system also, a being becomes the head of beings by merit, just from among these former Plef-Perf-Noofs, or physicians.
“My first meeting with the Martian Toof-Nef-Tef took place when we first arrived on this solar system, and settled on this planet Mars. He was then a Plef-Perf-Noof just on that part of the surface of this planet where I and all who came with me had the place of our residence.
“Since then, existing on various parts of the surface of the planet Mars in the capacity of Plef-Perf-Noof, he merited becoming the head over all the beings breeding on the planet Mars; and when he neared the state of the sacred ‘Ischmetch,’ he desired to return to just that part of the surface of his planet where he had spent his youth. That is why this former Plef-Perf-Noof, now Toof-Nef-Tef, happened at that time to be near the place of my residence on Mars.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1148]
“This Martian Toof-Nef-Tef was, according to the notions of your favorites, already an extremely old being: he was by the time-calculation of the planet Mars about twelve thousand Martian years old, which is only a little less than the time-calculation of the Earth.
“Here you must be told that on the planet Mars the duration of the existence of beings in general is almost the same as that of the three-centered beings of all the other planets of our Megalocosmos, excepting of course those beings who are directly formed from the first ‘Tetartocosmoses,’ and whose duration of existence may be three times as long.
“The three-brained beings arising and existing on the planet Mars as well as the three-centered beings of all those planets of our Megalocosmos on which an existence normal for three-centered beings proceeds, also have full possibility of reaching the state of the sacred Ischmetch, namely, that being-state when the existence of a being already becomes dependent, as regards the Most Great cosmic Iraniranumange, only on those substances which arise directly from the manifestations of the Most Most Holy Prime Source Itself, and not as it proceeds in the other beings whose existence depends on cosmic substances arising through the results of all corresponding gravity-center concentrations of the common-cosmic fundamental Ansabaluiazar.
“And when they reach this state of the sacred Ischmetch and the Reason of their highest part is already perfected up to the required gradation of the sacred measure of Reason; then in the first place, the process of the sacred Rascooarno may also proceed with them, but only by their own wish; and secondly, their highest being-body is taken directly to the holy planet Purgatory.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1149]
“And so, when I returned to the planet Mars from the planet Earth, and while I was hurriedly finishing the liquidation of my affairs there, I was informed that the Toof-Nef-Tef of the planet wished to see me personally.
“This request of the honorable Toof-Nef-Tef was translated to me through our Ahoon by means of what is there called a ‘Kelli-E-Ofoo’
“The text of this Kelli-E-Ofoo was as follows:
“‘I have heard that you, your Right Reverence, have become worthy of receiving from our COMMON FATHER CREATOR full pardon for the transgressions of your youth, and that you are now leaving my native land forever. And therefore, I, an old being, very much wish to see you and to bless you personally for the last time, and at the same time to thank, through your person, all the beings of your tribe for their constant good relations with the beings of my native land during so many years.’
“At the end of this Kelli-E-Ofoo was the postscript:
“‘I personally would present myself at your house, but as you know, the size of my planetary body does not permit me in any way to do so, and hence I am compelled to beg you not to refuse to come to my “Fal-Fe-Foof.”
“I must say that the three-brained beings of the planet Mars knew our genuine nature from the very beginning, and also the true reason why we were compelled to dwell on their planet.
“They were not like the three-brained beings of your planet who never knew anything and never even suspected who we were and why we existed on their planet.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1150]
“And so, my boy, when I received the said invitation from the honorable Toof-Nef-Tef, I of course immediately decided to go to him without delay, and when I arrived there, this, in the full sense of the word, great Toof-Nef-Tef, after all the prescribed ceremonies and exchange of courtesies, turned to me as we were talking, with his request, which was just the cause for the subsequent crystallization in me of corresponding data for the indubitable conviction that the results ensuing from the abnormal existence of the three-brained beings of your planet had already begun to act harmfully also on the ordinary existence of the three-brained beings arising and existing on the planet Mars, in respect of their ‘potency’ to perfect themselves as is proper to all three-brained beings.
“I shall try to give you in our speech the contents of this request of the Great Toof-Nef-Tef almost literally.
“He than said as follows:
“‘Your Right Reverence!
“‘Thanks to the most gracious pardon granted to you from Above, you have again acquired the right freely to actualize your justly merited wishes. And thanks to this All-Embracing grace, you have again all the possibilities of becoming what you might long ago have been owing to your formerly acquired merits as regards Reason, and of course from now on, you, your Right Reverence, will undoubtedly meet various Individuals corresponding to your Reason who have already reached the higher gradations of Reason.
“‘And so, I take the liberty of applying to you, as my old friend, with the request which consists in this, that on meeting these Individuals you should remember about me, an old being, and not forget to ask their opinion about that fact which during recent years has almost all the time been a shock for the arising of disturbing associations in all my spiritualized parts, and that when you will have learned their opinion, not to refuse to communicate it to me somehow or other at a suitable occasion.’
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1151]
“And he continued further:
“‘The point is that during the last few “Ftofoos” I constated very definitely that, among the beings of our planet, the “Noorfooftafaf” increases each “Ftofoo,” and parallel with this, I observed in them a proportional diminishing of the intensity of their potency for the possibility of active mentation.
“‘When I first discovered this fact, so deplorable for the beings of our planet, and began from then on intensively to ponder and to seek the cause of it, in order to be able to give corresponding indications to those beings who have entrusted themselves to me to help them in their struggle to uproot this lamentable factor that has newly arisen in their common presences, then in spite of the fact that I meditated very often and long on this question which constantly agitates me, I have up till now not been able even approximately to elucidate for myself where the trouble lies and what corresponding measures must be taken to destroy this evil.’
“Thus ended the request of the honorable Toof-Nef-Tef of the planet Mars, and I, my boy, of course, there and then promised this oldest friend of mine to inquire about all this and at my first meeting with a corresponding Individual to communicate the reply to him without fail.
“Several Martian days after the interview of which I have told you, we left this hospitable planet forever and ascended to the planet Saturn.
“No sooner had we arrived on the planet Saturn, than the chief of our tribe there at once came and announced to us the contents of the etherogram he had just received in which it was stated that the big intersystem ship Omnipresent would land on the planet Saturn only early in the ‘Hre-Hree-Hra.’
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1152]
“Hre-Hree-Hra means there one of those periods of time determined by a certain position occupied by this planet in relation, on the one hand to the sun of its system, and on the other, to another planet of this same system called Neptune.
“There are in one year seven of these definitely established periods there on the planet Saturn, and each of them has its own name.
“As by the time-calculations of the planet Mars there yet remained to this Hre-Hree-Hra almost half a ‘Foos,’ or by the time-calculation of your favorites, about one and a half months, we decided to organize our ordinary being-existence there during this waiting in a more or less suitable manner.
“One part of our beings remained on the ship Occasion itself, another found accommodation in the places offered us by the amiable beings of the planet Saturn, and I with Ahoon went to Rirkh, that is to just that large populated center of beings there where my friend Gornahoor Harharkh existed.
“In the evening of our arrival there I, by the way, asked this essence-friend of mine during friendly conversation how the existence of his heir proceeded, that is my dear ‘Kesdjanian-result-outside-of-me,’ or as your favorites would say my godson, Gornahoor Rakhoorkh.
“He thanked me and said that Rakhoorkh existed quite well, that he had already become his heir in all respects, and that he had made the aim of his existence also the study of the details of the Omnipresent substance Okidanokh which had previously been for himself also the aim of all his responsible existence.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1153]
“After having paused a little, he added that in respect of the knowledge attained of the question of the cosmic substance Okidanokh his heir had already, as he expressed himself, ‘smelled-out-its-very-essence.’
“He said further that owing to the results of the scientific attainments of his heir, all the data for every conviction that had been previously crystallized in his essence, thanks to persevering labors during long years, had by that time not only been totally decrystallized, but that he had even entirely destroyed all his inventions relating to the investigations of this omnipresent cosmic substance, among which was also his famous ‘non-radiating lamp’; and sighing deeply, he ended by saying:
“‘I am now in full agreement with the opinion of the “result-of-my-all,” that it was the greatest misfortune for me to have been occupied so long with this, in the objective sense, absolutely “unredeemable sin.”‘
“Talking further on various incidental topics, we began, in accordance with the flowing of associations of being-mentation, to talk also of the three-brained beings breeding on the planet Earth.
“You remember, I have already told you that my friend Gornahoor Harharkh was always kept informed of my observations on their strange psyche which I sent to him as well as to your uncle Tooilan, even with duplicates of certain of my notes.
“So, as we were talking of these three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, Gornahoor Harharkh happened by the way to ask me:
“‘Tell me, please, my friend, is it possible that the general duration of existence of these unfortunates still continues to diminish?’
“When I began to explain to him the state of affairs there at the present time on this question, and the new data I had elicited concerning that abnormality there, just at that moment, the ‘result’ of Gornahoor Harharkh, Gornahoor Rakhoorkh himself, entered the room where we were.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1154]
“Though the newcomer had exactly the same exterior as his ‘producer’ he had the appearance of being very virile and full of fiery youth.
“When he had taken his place on his perch, as is proper to the three-brained beings of that planet, he began, as is usual to them, to welcome me in an ‘angelically musical voice’ with kind and self-satisfying wishes of being-feeling.
“And in conclusion he said, with a certain pathos:
“‘Although you are only my “Kesdjanian father,” yet, in view of the fact that during my “Hirr-Hirr” you assuredly fulfilled with the feeling of full and thorough cognizance the divine obligations taken upon yourself in respect of me, there have been crystallized in my common presence in respect of you data equivalent to those which should be in the common presence of each three-brained being in respect of his own producer, and it is, without doubt, just because of this that I very often remember you and each time in my thoughts I wish for you such ensuing circumstances at all times as can lead in general to, in the objective sense, a good and happy future.’
“You probably, my boy, did not understand what I meant when I told you that Gornahoor Rakhoorkh took his place on his perch.
“The point is that the three-brained beings of this planet according to their outer coating gradually acquire the habit of resting only in that posture, when after having stooped in a special way they let the whole weight of their planetary body rest on their lower extremities, and for these means of resting it gradually became necessary for them to be at a certain height; hence it is that the three-brained beings there have established the practice of fixing at a certain height, in the rooms where they exist, special sticks for resting, which they call perches.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1155]
“I may as well say also that these perches of theirs are usually embellished with various knick-knacks or carved with all kinds of figures, just as is done by your favorites also, when they manifest the same weakness in regard to what they call their ‘furniture.’
“And so, after having taken his place on his perch and expressed his welcome, my dear ‘Kesdjanian-result-outside-of-me,’ or my godson, Gornahoor Rakhoorkh, began to take part in my conversation with Gornahoor Harharkh.
“And so, my boy, when during our general conversation on various topics, I, by the way, became interested to learn from my godson what was the reason which led to the crystallizing in his presence of data for the engendering of the impulse to interest himself seriously in the sphere of the elucidating of the details of the Omnipresent cosmic-substance Okidanokh, thanks to which, he also, like his producer, had become worthy to make certain great cosmic discoveries; then after young Rakhoorkh’s reply with explanatory details to this question of mine, the fact became clear to me that the abnormal existence of your favorites already began to act harmfully on the normal existence and on the conscious self-perfecting of beings breeding on the planet Mars, and at the same time, thanks to this detailed reply of his, which was based on scientific foundations, I drew also data for the elucidating of that question for the solution of which my old Martian friend, the Great Toof-Nef-Tef had applied to me with his request.
“I will try, my boy, to reproduce to you in our speech all the thoughts of this reply of his, also as exactly as possible.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1156]
“After having thought a little at the question which I had put to him, Gornahoor Rakhoorkh replied with deep seriousness:
“‘At the beginning of my existence, namely, at the age when I was still preparing to be a responsible being, I – as is proper to all three-brained beings at this age – devoted the greater part of my time to practicing for the potency “to-deliberate-actively-and-long”; and of itself it so happened that during the interval of time for necessary rest, I used to be occupied with the various experimental apparatuses of my producer.
“‘And it was just then at that period of my existence that I began to notice more than once, that on certain days the forces and degree of my active mentation grew particularly worse.
“‘What I thus constated aroused in me a subjective interest which served as the source for the engendering in my presence of the requisite impulse for the thorough cognizance of the cause of this fact, and from then on I began to pay attention both to myself as well as to what proceeded around me and to seek out the causes for it; and after one “Rkhee” I became convinced beyond doubt that this undesirable state proceeded with me each time, on the day when our large “Lifechakan” was in action.
“‘It was just this fact which I then first constated which was the cause that I have, since then, become seriously interested in this omnipresent cosmic substance and deeply absorbed in the study of its details.
“‘As a result, from the very beginning of my subsequent experimental elucidations, I came to possess an immeasurable number of every kind of proof for the elucidation, both for myself and for others, of the fact that the Omnipresent substance Okidanokh is such a particle of the common presence of the atmosphere of our planet, and evidently of the presence of the atmosphere of other planets, as takes part both in the arising of every planetary and surplanetary formation – among which of course there is also the “Hraprkhabeekhrokhnian” part of every being – as well as in the maintenance of their existence.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1157]
“‘Upon my further experimental elucidations I also became aware, beyond all doubt, that although our solar system like all the other solar systems of the Great Universe has its own Ansanbaluiazar, and each planet with its atmosphere is a special place of concentration of one or another class of cosmic substances of the given “Systematic-Ansanbaluiazar,’ yet nevertheless the cosmic-substance Okidanokh is an indispensable and predominant part of the presence of each planet.
“‘And later, also thanks to my experiments, it became clear to me that this cosmic substance is, owing to the common universal equilibrium, concentrated in every system in a strictly corresponding proportion and is distributed also in a strictly definite proportion between the atmosphere of each planet of the given solar system, and that when this universal substance is used up by accident or design in any one place of atmospheric space, it must without fail be replenished for the equilibrium of its common proportionalness in the atmosphere, and this proceeds by its flowing in from other places, and thereby this balancing transposition of Okidanokh must proceed not only from one space to another in the atmosphere of any planet, but also from the atmosphere of one planet to the atmosphere of another planet, if in this other planet for some reason or other more than its established norm is used up.
“‘Finally, I still further very definitely and from every aspect made clear to my reason and proved to others that the Omnipresent cosmic-substance Okidanokh present in our atmosphere and which is constantly being replenished, is for the common presence of our planet not only necessary and most important for every kind of arising and maintaining of existence, but also that the essence of every “relatively independent” intraplanetary and surplanetary formation as well as of the beings of every system of brains and external coating depends on this substance, and likewise that the possibilities for three-brained beings to perfect themselves and ultimately to blend with the Prime Cause of everything existing depends exclusively also on it.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1158]
“‘I repeat, as a result of all my experimental elucidations, I very definitely cognized for myself and acquired indubitable data for the possibilities of proving from every aspect to all those around me, beings like myself, that the destruction in the presences of the planet and of its atmosphere, of the Omnipresent cosmic-substance Okidanokh is almost equivalent to the conscious destruction of all the labors and results of the First-Sacred-Cause of everything that exists.’
“With these words, captivated by the theme of this exposition, my dear godson, the young high-spirited Gornahoor Rakhoorkh, finished his talk.
“In the middle of Gornahoor Rakhoorkh’s explanations concerning the mentioned properties of the Omnipresent cosmic-substance Okidanokh and the inevitable consequences of its extraction and destruction from the common presence of your planet, the suspicion arose in me, and in my memory there gradually began to be restored all kinds of general pictures – previously perceived during my personal sojourn among your favorites just during the period of my close observations on their existence from the planet Mars of the impressions from their ordinary being-existence – of how they at different periods repeatedly obtained this substance or it’s separate parts from the nature of their planet and used them for their different, naively egoistic aims.
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1159]
“And when during the further explanations of Gornahoor Rakhoorkh, I, by association, remembered the request of the great Toof-Nef-Tef of the planet Mars, I then with all my being became aware without any doubt of all the maleficent consequences of just this manifestation of the three-brained beings of your planet.
“They named the totality or the separate parts of this substance, sacred just for them, differently at different periods, and at the present time they name the result of the blending and the mutual destruction of two parts of this omnipresent substance ‘Electricity.’
“And, indeed, although there they had already several times in earlier epochs found out, of course thanks always to accidentally successive circumstances, how to extract by various means from the nature of their planet, and to use for every kind of their, as I already said, ‘naively egoistic’ aims, various parts of this omnipresent substance absolutely necessary for normal cosmic processes, yet never have they destroyed so much of it as in recent times.
“So in this way, thanks to the explanations of my ‘Kesdjanian-result-outside-of-me,’ in the first place it became indubitably clear to me concerning the maleficent action, already begun, of the results of the ordinary abnormal being-existence of the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy; and secondly, the disturbing question of my old friend was solved of itself, namely, why during recent times it had become more and more difficult for the three-brained beings of the planet Mars to perfect themselves.
“As regards the solution in this manner of this question, I might say that it was obtained, just as is said about similar cases, in one rarely used saying of our esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin, who formulated it in the following words:
[45. Extraction of Electricity, p. 1160]
“‘One can never know who might help you to get out of galoshes.’
“And the solution of this question was thus obtained, because my very old friend had in view individuals with quite other data and possibilities than these Saturn friends of mine possessed, who were only ordinary three-brained beings; my friend probably did not suspect that in most cases concerning these questions, just these ordinary three-brained beings, who acquire information about every kind of genuine cosmic fact exclusively only thanks to their being-Partkdolg-duty, are more competent than any of the Angels or Cherubim with their prepared Being, who, though perfected in Reason to high gradations, yet as regards practical confrontation may appear to be only such Individuals as our always respected Mullah Nassr Eddin defines in the following words:
“‘Never will he understand the sufferings of another who has not experienced them himself though he may have divine Reason and the nature of a genuine Devil.'”
At this point of Beelzebub’s tales, there were diffused all along the intersystem ship Karnak artificially produced vibrations which had the property of penetrating into the common presences of all the passengers of the ship and which acted on what are called the “wandering nerves” of the stomach.
This artificially produced manifestation was an announcement to the passengers about their assembling in the common what is called “Djameechoonatra,” a kind of terrestrial “monasterial refectory” in which the second being-food is collectively taken.